Spam: Hostage Thread

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Hakaril Silvar		#21	[url]	[-]
Posts: 139 07/04/09 10:42:20 Sith Apprentice Birthday Boy Hair Dye Enthusiast	Wow, Mr. Jack has a weird hideout. I request the aid of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, whose presence will surely force Wilford into a diabetic coma! Sal, you're being held hostage by Larry the Cable Guy! And he's forcing you to watch every stand-up routine and movie he's ever produced, eyes clipped open, Clockwork Orange style!
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Salvador Messiah		#22	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2754 07/04/09 14:46:51 Jedi Knight Force Seer	Mr. Chappelle! I mean... Dave! You've returned to rescue me from horrible comedy! Thank you, Dave! You've... you've saved us all... Shakti! You're being held by Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity, and are being tortured by being made to watch Veggietales on a continuous loop. Who comes to your aid?
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Darth Shakti		#23	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1658 07/04/09 15:04:23 Once you figure out what a joke everything is...	Gah! Fuck! I call on the cast of Naylin Paylin to distract these right-wing ideologues. Jacob! You are a captive of the dreaded tribe of furious savages known as Indianapolis Cubs fans. Who can save you now?
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Iria Blaedz		#24	[url]	[-]
Posts: 70 07/06/09 23:57:37 Azure Pixie Strill Handler Kiffar Mando'ad	Sal, you've been captured by Harry Dresdend (from Jim Butcher's books) the wizard thinks you're the key to cracking a paranomal case, got you in an unbreakable magic circle with a jazz playing saxophone for company. who is going to get you out of that one? :)
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Salvador Messiah		#25	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2754 07/07/09 02:01:29 Jedi Knight Force Seer	Oh, easy. A Sci Fi Channel executive. He'll cancel Harry so fast it'll make his head spin. Jacob, you jump in when you find the time. In the interim... ELLIE! You're being held hostage by the 1993 Chicago Bulls, arguably the best team to ever exist. Who engineers your escape?
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Ellie West		#26	[url]	[-]
Posts: 252 07/07/09 02:31:47	Angry Cubs fans! I bet they can destroy anything! Lith! You've been dragged away in the night by Bill O'Reilly and he keeps muttering creepy things about greek food. Who comes to your rescue??
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Shaughnessy Carnegie.covenantofbattle		#27	[url]	[-]
Posts: 234 07/11/09 03:02:14 Albino drug addict candy stashing ex-conductor sharpshooter merc. Also I'm adopted.	JESUS CHRIST IT'S O'REILLY AND HIS BAD EROTICA GET IN THE CAR (Seriously, and he uses my name like a creepy motherfucker: "Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly." ) BSFDDGD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I want to be saved by the FCC. They'll ban the audiobook for awful. Salvador is being hel dhostage by alcoholics asnonymous. WHO SAVES?
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Salvador Messiah		#28	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2754 07/11/09 03:12:10 Jedi Knight Force Seer	A superteam of Andrew Dice Clay, Jack Sparrow, and that character Nicholas Cage played in Leaving Las Vegas. WINOS FOR THE WIN! Ashley! You're being held by the sexy 'Buster Kari Byron. Who comes to your aid?
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Shaughnessy Carnegie.covenantofbattle		#29	[url]	[-]
Posts: 234 07/11/09 03:54:51 Albino drug addict candy stashing ex-conductor sharpshooter merc. Also I'm adopted.	Whoever invented this thing. Ellie! You are a prisoner of the Dread Pirate (Pat) Robertson, and will be used as a prop in an on-air exorcism for the 700 Club! Who can save you?
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